Time Out!

   :D I had never shared with my readers about B and I have generally attributed my introduction to FLR-DD to J (and rightfully so). I originally planned on sharing the story of B over this past weekend but I guess I had more to say about that than I thought? At any rate, I had to catch a flight this morning to Tennessee but I hope to conclude that story while I'm here! Yes, I splurged and bought a laptop for the road. Funny how one's fortune can change in a years time From 2009 to 2011, life had gotten pretty tough financially. Like so many of us, the economic downturn effected me directly and I went through the roughest period of my adult life. Frankly, I didn't see any end in sight and I struggled to keep a positive outlook. I do believe that maintaining such an outlook is key in succeeding. I refused to give up and the result was that I now find myself in the best professional and financial situation I have ever been in. Not to ramble on about me (lol), but to clarify my situation a bit and let you all know what to expect from this blog going forward. Naturally, with the added responsibility, my personal time has necessarily diminished. That being the case, I will make every effort to post when the opportunity presents itself. This also means that rebuilding the blog may be painfully slow at times. I put a tremendous amount of time and work into what it was before it's untimely demise and I plan to produce the same high quality this time around so your patients will be as valuable as your incredible support.


   I have begun adding some of the many resources I had offered before in the way of blog rolls, website links and professional services to name a few but I am starting from scratch. I was honored and blessed to share links with many great blogs within the bounds of our mutual interest - likewise with many web sites. Sadly, I have lost much of them and am slowly rediscovering them as I go. If we shared a link, or if there was one that you remember that you found convenient, please drop me a line and let me know. Thanks again for all the support over the years and hopefully going forward.

Doubts Along The Way......

   I couldn't seem to get B out of my mind even though I had reservations regarding my obvious role in this potential relationship. Granted, I had fantasized being submissive to a strong, dominant lady but I had never actually done it and if I had discovered anything the night before, it was that reality was very different from fantasy! My ass ached and throbbed...it hurt to walk. Looking in the mirror, my cheeks were still a deep shade of red and obviously swollen. I tried not to think about it, the mere thought of what had happened the previous night was humiliating in itself. I had wrestled with an inner conflict regarding spanking for many years, now there was a new wrinkle in the fold. A part of me that I would not acknowledge was drawn to her....but I couldn't seem to surrender to my curiosity....I wouldn't surrender! What a mess I was at that moment...I picked up the phone several times only to set it back down. I played a number of scenarios over and over in my head, none of them were good...they all ended with her humiliating me verbally over the bare bottom spanking she administered and my less than macho reactions! I couldn't stand it anymore, I wanted to talk to her....I needed to talk to her. If I didn't call her, I thought, the image of her face would haunt my thoughts forever! I was sweating and trembling as I dialed her number. I was surprised to hear her sounding so cheerful...she sounded very happy to hear from me. Quite a difference from the tone I last heard in her voice. We talked for an hour and never once was the night before mentioned. It was a very pleasant conversation and I eventually felt at ease, forgetting my earlier skepticism. As we said our goodbyes she said, oh Tom? Yes? How does your bottom feel? I felt the rush of blood to my face as I blushed. I thought I had dodged that topic....I didn't know how to answer, I was silent. Tom? Yes, yes, I'm here, I replied. I know you're there, I asked you a question....did you forget already that I expect an answer when I ask you something? Just like that I immediately felt very small again! Damn her! How did she manage to do that to me? Her voice was stern and I was reduced to a stutter again. N-n-no ma'am, I didn't forget, I said. Well then? How is your bottom? Very sore, I said in an almost whisper, my voice cracking and breaking. Good, she said....call me later, bye sweetie...and she hung up.



   I was tormented over my choice, it consumed my every waking thought. I resisted it in my head over and over yet I was drawn to her in some insane way. I had to call her, I had to hear her voice...maybe it was curiosity? Maybe I just had to know what she would require of me next, how she would treat me? Whatever it was, I called and agreed to come to her house that afternoon. Her parents were at work so we would have some privacy she said. I wasn't sure how I felt about that? Again, I felt a conflicting range of emotions and the closer I got to her house the more nervous I became. We embraced when I walked in the door. a passionate kiss took the edge off. We sat at the kitchen table and talked about a bunch of different vanilla things. She was very easy to be around in that regard although I was never quite at ease knowing what she was capable of. She was definitely a confident girl and that in itself was a bit intimidating. We got quiet after a little while, she sat at the table and stared at me for what seemed like hours though it was more like minutes....seconds maybe? Her gorgeous, intimidating eyes narrowed as she smoked a cigarette. You aren't used to this are you Tom? She asked. No....um....ma'am, I'm not, I replied nervously. I'm sure I looked like a dear in the headlights when the subject was changed. Are you sure you want this? She asked. Damn! She had to put me on the spot like that! The truth is no, I wasn't sure but, I really liked being with her, she was very sexy and I was driven by more shallow motives at that age so I lied and said yes, I was sure. Good, she said because I really like spanking you. You have one of the nicest asses I have ever had the pleasure of having across my lap and your reactions are cute. I blushed deeply and couldn't seem to look her in the face at that point. She giggled and reached out and touched my arm.



I think you need a little training though, she said. The hair stood on the back of my neck and a chill ran down my spine....I didn't like that kind of talk about me...it made me feel weak in a way. I got silent and wouldn't have known what to say if I could speak. I was beginning to feel small again. Let's go down the basement shall we? She asked or ordered, I still couldn't tell which? She got up and headed for the stairs and I followed obediently. When we got to the bottom of the steps she said, strip off your clothes....all of them, every stitch! She went through a door and left me there fumbling nervously with my clothes. It bothered me somewhat that I wasn't even given a choice in the matter but I obeyed none the less. I stood there completely naked and very self conscious, My cock was erect already and I was tormenting over her coming back and discovering it. She would breakout in laughter I knew it! I would be humiliated. I crossed my hands over my groin then uncrossed them remembering how upset that made her a few nights before. I crossed them over again not knowing what to do. She came back in the room carrying something, they looked like large cassette tapes. VCR's were a new thing back then and I didn't recognize them. She walked to the consol TV across the room, a large machine almost the size of a suitcase sat on top...it was the VCR. She turned the TV on and slid a tape in the machine. She turned around and sternly told me to put my hands at my side and keep them there. Stand at attention, she said as she stood there looking at me as if to be certain I was obeying her commands. She had a remote control of sorts in her hand, it had a long wire that plugged into the VCR unit. She turned and looked at the screen. I want you to pay very close attention to this, she said.
 


The screen was choppy with lines running horizontally across it then it straightened out as the camera faded in. There was a woman sitting in a high backed, upholstered chair. She was dressed in a nice pair of slacks, a white blouse and a pair of high-heeled dress shoes. Her legs were crossed as she read a magazine. Her hair was up in a bun and the glasses on her face gave her the look of a serious woman. The door opened and a man stepped into the room. She looked up from her magazine and over the tops of her glasses at him. Where have you been young man? She asked him. Do you know what time it is? The guy was stammering out incoherent garble for the most part but it was very obvious to me what was going on. The woman got out of her chair and walked up to the man who didn't move...obviously he was already "trained" as B put it. She looked him in the face and began to scold him. She asked him several questions in rapid succession which appeared to make him more nervous. I, meanwhile, had my own dismal situation going on. I fought to stand at attention with my hands at my sides, completely naked in the presence of a fully clothed woman, my cock completely erect and standing at attention in front of me like an elephant in the room. I was trying my hardest to wish it away but it defied me, in fact, it was moving on it's own it seemed...up and down, up and down as B occasionally looked over at me to gauge any reactions. I felt her looking at my erection which got my heart racing even more than it already was. The woman finished tongue lashing the man in the video and ordered him to strip to his underpants. She left the room as the man went about stripping his clothes off. B paused the tape...did you see that? She asked? I was puzzled, not sure what I was supposed to have noticed? He obeyed her command immediately, she said. That's what I expect from you....is that clear? My voice cracked as I tried to hurry with a reply....y-y-yes ma'am, I said. She turned the tape back on. The woman came back in the room as the man was down to his underpants and socks. She was carrying a large wooden hairbrush which sent shivers down my spin and tingles through my bottom cheeks.



With a hand on her hip, the woman pointed to the corner with the other and ordered the half naked man to assume a position there. He scurried to the corner in an obvious effort not to upset the woman any more than she already was. He stood with his nose in the corner, hands at his side at attention. B paused the tape. Are you learning anything? She asked. Yes ma'am, was my reply. Very good, she said looking at me. Much like the m,an on the tape, I couldn't return her gaze. I was experiencing a level of embarrassment and humility I had never experienced before, broad daylight, completely naked, throbbing erection in the company of a totally dressed female whom I was sure was going to spank my bare ass very soon. She directed my attention to the man on the tape while she had it paused, Do you see what he is wearing young man? She asked. Yes ma'am, I answered. White cotton briefs, she said. That is all I ever want to see you in do you understand? Yes ma'am. If I ever catch you in a pair of boxers for any reason I will spank your bare bottom until you can't sit for a week, is that understood? Yes ma'am. Good, she turned the tape back on. The woman stood behind the man a few feet and stared at him in the corner, obviously pleased with her command of the situation. She walked back over to her upholstered chair, set the hairbrush on the table beside it, sat down and picked up the magazine and began reading again. The camera slowly zoomed into the man in the corner and remained there for a couple minutes until the camera faded out. It faded back in the an overhead view of the room, the man still in the corner, the woman in the chair reading the magazine. The suggestion was that a long period of time had elapsed since he was put in the corner. The woman stood up and walked across the room. She retrieved a wooden chair with a very short back, like a vanity chair or something? She carried it out to the middle of the room then went back and got her hairbrush. She sat in the short backed chair and called the man to her. She pointed to a spot on the floor in front of her which the man immediately went to. She began to scold and lecture him which made me uncomfortable.



   I had only experienced it a couple of times over the last few days but I was aware of how powerful it was. It never failed to reduce me to a trembling, nervous wreck...my manly bravado gone in the wink of an eye. The woman questioned the man and demanded answers, he had a tough time as he stuttered and stammered out the answers, a situation I had become intimately aware of a few nights before. I am a fair skinned person and the spanking had turned my white bottom cheeks very red but only a few days later and any sign of the spanking had disappeared. All that remained was the tender ache in my cheeks. It was faint but it was there. I nervously watched along side B as the woman ordered the man across her knees, she rested the large, heavy looking wooden hairbrush on the small of his back and slowly peeled his underpants down just below his bottom cheeks. She picked the hairbrush up and slowly rubbing circles on his bare ass she gave a few last instructions. He was to keep his hands and feet on the floor and his bare bottom up. He was not to get off her lap until she gave him permission to do so and if she asked him a question she expected an answer. With that, the woman raised the brush high above her shoulder and brought it down with a loud crack. The man jumped forward on her lap and let out a yelp just as the brush landed with an equally loud crack on his other cheek. I began to fidget as this woman fell into a brisk, steady rhythm of hard hairbrush spanks which turned the mans bare ass a bright red in no time. I kept waiting for a pause in the action but it never came. The hard spanks continued to rain down in a vigorous fashion making me more and more nervous as it went. I could feel a lump in my throat as I shifted my weight from foot to foot. The man in the video was struggling hard to keep his position as the severe spanking continued. Occasionally a foot would kick up only to return to the floor, his cheeks began to clench tight as the spanking seemed to increase in speed and force as she went.


Before long it was undeniable that the woman was spanking much harder and faster, she started to scold as she spanked then delivered a scary volley of very hard spanks before she stopped. The man had been squealing and yelping for a large portion of the hairbrush spanking and now laid slumped over her knee sobbing. I was terrified and sweating. I looked at B who remained focused on the video. The woman issued a final lecture to the man she had just soundly spanked as he laid over her knee then ordered him to get up, leave his underpants down and go directly to the corner and remain there until she gave him permission to come out. He hurried to comply. The camera again slowly zoomed in on the man in the corner pausing every now and then before slowly zooming in again. It zoomed all the way in to a close up of his very red, very sore bare ass cheeks where it remained for a minute or so before fading out. The credits began rolling up the screen as B shut the VCR off. She set the remote control on top of the VCR and turned around. Crossing her arms in front of her she stood looking at me. Her eyes went up and down my naked body, my throbbing erection impossible to miss. I stared at the floor blushing. My knees got weak all of a sudden as I trembled....I knew the time was near. That was a punishment spanking young man and you will get many of those I'm sure. The one you had the other night was a warmup, she said. A chill ran down my spine. In a couple minutes, you are going to get a punishment spanking, not for any reason inparticular but just as a training exercise. I want you to know full well what to expect should you decide to misbehave. B was dressed in a tight pair of short shorts, a tube top and a pair of sandals. She stood there looking at me for a little longer making me more nervous. I want you to go over there, get that chair and bring it out to the middle of the room, she instructed. I went immediately a brought the chair out. She sat in the chair and pointed to the floor to her right side, I had just learned what that meant and I went to the spot. She lifted her right foot and removed the leather sandal then told me to bend across her knee. I did as I was told sure I was going to die from shame.


I felt the cold bottom of her leather sandal on my naked cheeks. She told me that this spanking was going to hurt, a lot more than the spanking did the other night. She said that when she was  done spanking me that afternoon, my bottom would be red and sore for at least a week but I would know that she was the boss and if I stepped out of line, this is what I would get. She asked if I understood....a question I was coming to loath like no other. I answered appropriately. She adjusted my position over her lap so that my bare bottom was directly over her lap and sticking up in the air. I felt helplessly exposed and very vulnerable. I was at her mercy and we both knew it. She tapped the sandal on my cheeks lightly as she gave me similar instructions as the man in the video. The first smack of that nasty leather sandal caught me by surprise, it felt like a million stings erupted on my ass cheek at once. It was different than the sting of her hairbrush, that felt like a deeper burning sting. This seemed to all be concentrated on the surface and the sting was not dissipating at all. Each smack produced a new set of intense sting that had me yelling after only 4 or 5 spanks. I had a long way to go! The small basement room was soon filled with the sound of leather cracking against bare skin combined with my yelps, squeals, pleads, grunts and hollering. I lost count somewhere around 55 and was struggling my hardest to remain in position with my hands and feet on the floor. I was quickly losing that battle as my hand shot halfway back a few times before I caught myself and returned it to the floor. She had a firm grasp around my waist and was holding me tightly across her lap as she spanked harder and faster. My bare ass was on fire as my legs began to kick. B slapped the backs of my thighs with the sandal and paused long enough to issue another warning and to instruct me to spread my legs apart. I didn't think this could get any worse but exposing myself in that manner, hiding nothing, was very humiliating. She resumed the spanking with renewed vigor painting every inch of my white cheeks stinging red! I felt tears forming in the corner of my eyes but I refused to let them loose. I fought them back as I tried to keep my feet down and spread. Finally the sting of the sandal spanking got the better of me. I'm sure she was increasing the speed and force as the woman did in the video and I started to kick my legs like an olympian. The spanking continued despite my agony.



When she finally stopped I could hear her breathing heavily. My ass cheeks stung like nothing I ever felt before but I lay there over her knee afraid to move, my bare red ass sticking up, my legs spread wide and my junk hanging out for her to easily see and I waited. You are very, very red young man, she finally said. You definitely have a very soundly spanked bottom. Now I want you to get up and go stand at attention in that corner and don't you dare even think about rubbing your bottom do I make myself clear? Y-y-y-yes m-m-m-m'am I stammered and got up and went quickly to the corner. I stood like I saw the man in the video standing. I wanted very badly to rub some of the incredible sting out of my ass but I could feel her watching me. She watched me in the corner for at least 15 minutes before she left the room. I stole the opportunity to rub my burning cheeks.....she caught me! As fast as I knew what happened she had me by the ear lobe and was dragging me toward the sofa. She was asking rhetorically if I wanted to disobey her as we went. She pulled me down over the arm of the sofa by my ear leaving me draped with my bare red cheeks up high in the air. I heard a jingling behind me and soon realized she was taking the belt out of my pants. I buried my head in the cushions and waited. She wasted no time at all before that leather strap began bouncing off my upturned cheeks. The belt lit a fire all it's own on top of the sandal spanking. She was upset and kept repeating for me to never, ever, disobey her again. The belt striped my entire ass and the tops of my thighs before she stopped, dropped the belt near my face and told me to stay where I was till she told me to move. I have no idea if she was watching or not but I had no desire to even attempt to rub my sore, burning, stinging bottom. I just layed over the arm of the couch with my bright red ass sticking up for anyone to see. I stayed there for at least 20 minutes. Finally she walked up beside me, ran her fingers through my hair then told me to get up, get dressed and go home. As I left she told me to call her.

    There was obviously no sexual release involved in a punishment spanking! As bad as my ass hurt, my erection had returned when I thought about what had just taken place. I found that very strange. I was certain that I hated the spankings and my erection was always gone during them. Regardless, I swore to myself that I wasn't going to do this, I couldn't. Later that night, I called B and we discussed what was expected of me and what I could now expect if I failed to meet expectations. Yes, I understood, I found myself telling her.

The Humble Beginnings...

   I won't go into a long, drawn out story dealing with my discovery of the interest. Let's just say I am no different than a lot of people I've met along the way...it has been with me since as far back as I can remember. It is interesting however, that the earliest memories involved me on the receiving end of some pretty sound spankings at the hands of various women in my neighborhood. I find this interesting because as the years went on, my interests migrated to a more dominant role. It was in that role that I found a tremendous amount of sexual pleasure and satisfaction in association with spanking. I had long since abandoned the idea of myself as a submissive in any way shape or form. I went through the normal moral struggles so many of us go through feeling as though there was something terribly wrong with me for harboring such "sick" and "evil" thoughts. I was certain I was the only one who had them and therefore I had to keep them secret at all costs! It was an agonizing undertaking as the desire bordered on obsession but still, I would go long periods of time denying it's existence within the tangled fabric of my mind. There were literally years at a time that I didn't think about it once only to have it come back with a vengeance...stronger than ever it seemed.



   Something extraordinary happened when I was 13 years old, at least to me it was extraordinary because having wrestled with the stigma of my "weirdness" and isolation for so long I stumbled across a potential partner in crime so to speak. A neighbor girl (my age) and I were playing in a secluded area of the neighborhood one day when she made an almost mocking like statement that I was "very naughty and needed to be spanked"! I was in an instant state of shock accompanied by a very strong sense of guilt. I am sure my face was beet red upon hearing her words. It took about 30 seconds for the reality to hit me....had she really just said what I thought she said? She repeated herself and I couldn't deny what I heard..."you heard me mister, you've been a very naughty boy and you need to be spanked!" She came up to me and guided me into a bent over position over a log and started to spank my bottom with her opened hand. My heart was racing although the spanks barely registered, they were very playful but the effect on me was undeniable. She had stopped but I refused to get up less she see the enormous bulge in the front of my pants. All I could think was taking a turn on her and suggested as much. To my further shock (and extreme excitement) she agreed! I tried to hide my physical state as we switched positions and if she had noticed she gave no indication. I took my turn spanking her jiggling bottom cheeks and I was in heaven. Needless to say, I made a mess of myself and right afterwards, we both went scurrying home. The experience left me conflicted like I had never been before in my young life. I felt both euphoric and dirty at the same time. After all, anything that felt so good had to be wrong! Regardless, the experience haunted me, all I could see in my mind's eye was her lovely set of jiggling bottom cheeks as I spanked them again and again.


   We spent an entire summer sneaking off anywhere we could find that offered privacy and playing spanking games. Eventually we had progressed to applying them on the bare bottom. It never occurred to me then, and it was indeed many years later that it did, but all along, she was the aggressor in our little game. Even though she was the one getting spanked most often, she led the way, directing the scenarios and guiding the way. It was definitely a mutual undertaking but there is no doubt she was in charge right from the beginning. I would think about those times often over the next few years finally pushing them to my minds back burner as I decided it was a very lucky encounter and would never happen again. A few years later after she had long since moved out o the neighborhood, I stumbled across yet another situation that drew my strange desire out of hibernation. I found a pile of spanking magazines in an old car trunk abandoned in a field. I had never imagined that anyone besides me and that girl had ever engaged in such activity but there it was, right in front of my eyes. One page after another glorious page...full color, black and white and drawings of full grown men with full grown women draped over their knees, skirts hiked up and panties pulled down getting their bare bottoms very soundly spanked. I took in every detail missing nothing! I kept those magazines hidden under some rocks in the park where I could sneak off by myself and go through each and every one. The thrill of what those pages held far outweighed the tremendous fear I felt of getting caught although I was certain I would die of embarrassment if I did!



   Out of frustration (I suppose) I eventually put this obsession out of my mind and went on with the normal kinds of things teenagers do. Playing ball, chasing girls, making out, delivering papers, riding bikes and the list goes on. I wouldn't revisit this desire for quite a few years and I even think I may have expelled it from my heart and mind forever at one point? At approximately 19, I met a girl I began dating. After a few months she stunned me with the request that I spank her! WTF? Again, I couldn't quite trust my ears at first but the truth was, this girl wanted me to spank her. I was more than happy to oblige her and promptly took her across my knee and began to swat the seat of her pants. She wriggled and squirmed and helped my aching erection grow even larger. She panted and groaned and told me to spank her harder and faster. I found it difficult to spank her very hard, I was so afraid I would really hurt her and possibly make her mad? Finally she got up on her knees, undid the snap and zipper on her jeans and pushed her pants down to her knees climbing back over my lap. Again, I began to spank her lovely bottom, amazed at how it jiggled and wobbled with each spank. Still she wanted it harder and I did my best to increase the force of the spanks but, I must admit, it wasn't all that hard! Perhaps out of frustration, she told me to pull her panties down. I slowly peeled them down savoring the moment as the pink hue of her bare bottom cheeks made their debut. I started spanking her again, this time on the bare bottom. She almost screamed for me to spank faster so I did. Then she begged me to spank her harder and with great difficulty I complied certain I was hurting her.  I didn't know it then but this girl wanted me to spank her much harder and much faster than I had that night. She made the comment as we rolled around, feeling each other up and masturbating each other to climax that "you'll get better"! Huh?

   I did get better although I never got comfortable with it. I spanked her many, many times over the next year, year and a half and it was incredibly intense sexually. I would meet yet another girl that I would spank but it was more of a light-hearted sexual, fantasy game than anything else and while it was easy for me to spank her in that fashion, it also felt a bit awkward and unfulfilling?  few months later I ran into a friend of the first girl that liked to be spanked hard. I knew this girl was aware of this aspect of the relationship her friend and I had and I soon found out that she too was "into it". In fact. there was a group of people these girls were involved with that were "into it"....that was how they met. I, apparently. was the only one in this little band of three that was not aware of that! Her and I began to see each other casually and I was invited to a few parties with this group of people. It was there I met a girl I will call B. B struck me as being quite different right out of the gate. She may have been the first ever "emo girl"? She didn't go to the extremes you see today but she was rather dark  looking. Her hair was dyed jet black, her clothing was dark and her demeanor and attitude were very confident and...well...dominant.

   We hit it off from the start and talked most of the night about normal things, we never broached the subject of spanking or submission or dominance. This group did not conduct their parties like the more modern ones I have been to. Things were not so out in the open and while everyone there knew what the others were doing, it was still conducted in a more private atmosphere. At the end of the night, I offered to walk her home, she accepted the offer with a sly smile and a piercing look from her dark eyes. I even felt different around this girl, I was clumsy and nervous. I wanted to impress her. We walked slowly and talked and eventually came to the subject we both knew the other was interested in. She informed me almost from the beginning, in no uncertain terms either, that she was not a sub or, as we called it then...a bottom. No[e, she was a top through and through and had no desire to even try the role of bottom. That threw me for a bit of a loop because I had never met a female top before. I had assumed that all females were bottoms! lmao I was very interested in this girl, she had captured my imagination over the course of the evening and I wanted desperately to get with her. I was reluctant in that I did not see myself as a bottom and I knew that if I were to get with her, a bottom I would be. The desire to be with her was stronger than the fear of being topped besides, I thought, how bad could it be? I told her I wouldn't expect her to bottom which brought us to a stop on the sidewalk. She looked me in the eye and asked very seriously...."you are willing to bottom?" Sure I said, I can bottom...not knowing what the hell I was talking about. She warned me that she did not play around, if I was going to be her bottom, I could expect to get a good hard spanking! Just talking like this made me nervous and embarrassed but I found myself claiming that I had no problem bottoming! lol


   She led me across a field and through a fence into an old junk yard. We made our way back to an old van that was still in somewhat good condition. She climbed inside and I followed, my heart beating faster by the minute. She made her way through the front seats where a curtain hung to the back and I nervously followed. She turned and sat on the bench seat...in the middle....no room for me to sit? I crouched there waiting to see if she was going to move over but she never did. She just sat there adjusting her position and clothing as she seemed to be getting comfortable. Finally she looked up at me and stared me in the eye with slightly squinted eyes and suggested I kneel down and get comfortable. I knelt in front of her and she took my chin between her thumb and forefinger and guided my face to hers. She gave me a deep passionate kiss that got my blood flowing and heart throbbing. She slowly moved my face away from hers and stared at me for what seemed like forever. She gave me one last chance to turn and run, she asked if I understood that if I was with her, she was going to spank me and she was going to spank me hard. All I could seem to do was nod yes, she had me in this spell it seemed like and I couldn't leave now even if I wanted to and strangely enough, I didn't want too! Ok, she said....pull your pants down. I nervously fumbled with my snap and zipper, the only light was that of the moon which seemed to fall right on her and nowhere else. I finally got them undone as she encouraged me to relax and I pulled them and my underpants down in one fail swoop. Kneeling in front of her, naked from my waist to my knees I waited for her next command. Her tone changed to a deeper, disappointed growl almost...did I tell you to pull your underpants down mister, was her question. I felt very intimidated and slightly humiliated at being spoken to as if I were a child. I stuttered, um-ed and uh-ed then said, well....no? Excuse me, she asked. You are to address me with respect when you are being punished, is that understood? You will address me as ma'am and you are not to forget do you understand me? My heart felt like it would pound out of my chest as my stomach was doing flips and my words were mixed and garbled. I managed to stutter out a "yes ma'am" to which she said, very well, pull them up and don't you make a move unless I tell you to, is that clear? Y-y-yes m-m-ma'am was my response. My mind was whirling as I tried to remind myself what I was doing there but, I couldn't seem to convince myself that I should leave either!



   As I pulled the white cotton briefs up, I realized that I had a throbbing erection which was mortifying yet would not go away! It was very strange to me but this girl had some incredible control over me that I had never experienced before. I knew I would do whatever she told me to do. She left me kneeling there as she looked down on me. I became aware somewhere around this time that I was pretty much exposed in an embarrassing state and I immediately brought my hands to the front of my groin in an effort to cover myself. I was told right away to move my hands to my side and keep them there....I obeyed. She sat back on the bench seat and crossed her legs. She wore tight black pants and pointy, ankle high boots with a dress heel. Her leg slowly kicked up and down crossed over her knee as she sat and took in the spectacle that was me. It seemed like the moon had gotten brighter and there was nowhere I could hide from her gaze. The tip of her boot very lightly pressed against my erect hardon and she lightly traced it up and down the throbbing shaft as she lit a cigarette. She blew the cloud in my face and registered my reaction. I tried to stay as still as possible, her toe still tracing light lines up and down the underside of my shaft. It was all I could do to stay still. I thought I was going to explode in my underpants if she kept it up. Finally she spoke...you have been a very bad boy haven't you young man? My face blushed what had to be a very deep shade of red, I could feel it. Um....y-y-yes ma'am, I replied feeling very, very silly. No "um" she said, just a yes ma'am will do am I clear? Yes ma'am I replied. Bad boys get put across my knee and have their naughty bare bottoms spanked you know? Y-y-yes m-m-ma'am I stuttered wishing I had not agreed to this but still, I remained still and focused on her intense eyes. Yes they do and I am going to put you over my knee and I am going to give you a good sound spanking for being such a naughty boy do you hear me young man? Y-y-yes m-m-ma'am was all I could seem to manage to say at this point. I really wanted it to just happen and be over with. Pull your underpants down mister, she ordered. I hesitated for a second or two. That did not please her at all, she sat forward and took my chin between her fingers again and scolded me for not obeying her immediately. I would get a longer and harder spanking for failing to obey she told me. Now I want you to come up here and bend over my knee she instructed as she edged out further on the bench seat. I laid across her knees, afraid I would be to heavy for her but she pushed down on the small of my back until my full weight was draped across her surprisingly strong lap. Her position forced her knees up pretty high which in turn forced my bare, quivering bottom cheeks up high as well. I closed my eyes very tightly as the embarrassment of my exposed state registered in my busy mind.



   My head was inches from the floor of the van and I could see my pants bunched around my ankles through her legs. The contrast of my white skin against the dark blue of my jeans seemed to make my bare skin glow in the moon light. I felt her warm hand come to rest on my bare ass cheek, the cool wind blew over my quivering cheeks and trembling legs which made her hand appear to burn my tender, bare flesh. She left her hand rest where it was, occasionally rubbing it lightly across the surface as she began to lecture me. She told me that if I really wanted to be with her then I could expect to find myself in this position often. She said that she would not tolerate disobedience which meant that when she told me to do something I should do it immediately and without questioning her, she would view questioning her as back-talking which would earn me a long hard spanking over her knee with my pants down. I was to learn that she was the boss and that I was to do what I was told, when I was told, if not, I would be severely punished and if I didn't like that then I should walk away now. A big part of me wanted very badly to get up and run  out of there and never look back but I stayed in position across her knee and waited and listened as she scolded and lectured me like a child. The time for talking had ended and the spanking began, I was shocked at how much the first spank stung....I was not expecting that from her. To that point, my stress had come from the fact that I was totally exposed to this girl who was completely dressed! That was a situation I would never get used to actually. Her hand fell on my bare skin with amazing speed and force, the sound of the skin on skin was almost deafening inside that van. My mind was slow to register the stinging in my bottom cheeks but when it did I began to squirm and yelp. She placed a few swats on my upper thighs instructing me to stay in position. She returned her attention to the meat of my cheeks and in rhythm to the spanks scolded me to stay over her knee until she told me I could get up and not to interfere in anyway with the spanking I so rightly deserved and was going to get! I was panicking slightly as my bare bottom began to heat up with one stinging smack of her bare hand after the other. I had never spanked any of the girls I was with this fast or this hard but I couldn't seem to get up the nerve to move after she told me not too.



   I didn't realize she had stopped spanking me right away but I heard her fumbling with her purse. Then I felt a very cool, hard implement resting on my hot, red, swollen cheeks. She then informed me that she intended to show me exactly what would happen if I broke her rules and that, she said, meant I would get soundly spanked with her wooden hairbrush! The first spank made me see stars I think? The sting was so intense, it felt like I had just been stung by an entire bee hive at once. Just as I was reacting to that spank, another landed on my other cheeks and my legs came up off the floor. She never stopped to correct me, she just lit into my naked bottom with intense force and speed as I squealed and kicked my legs. I pounded my hands on the floor and begged her to stop. I promised her I had learned my lesson and that I would do exactly what she told me to do, when she told me to do it. I had no idea what I was saying, to tell the truth, I would have said anything I could to make her stop spanking. The rain of stinging swats continued to fall on my bouncing bare cheeks. I was getting the first real spanking of my young adult life and I absolutely hated it! I wanted it to stop but I had no idea how to make her stop. She continued long after I thought I would break. When she finally stopped I hunched over her lap and breathed heavily into my hands on the floor. I felt as though I could burst into tears at any moment but that would have been a fate worse than death to a 19 - 20 year old macho man so I controlled my emotions like my life depended on it! I could feel my body trembling uncontrollably as I slumped over her strong lap. I felt her tender hand slowly and lightly rubbing my sore, red bottom as she tried to sooth and comfort me. It's over now sweetie, she said. You took your spanking like a big boy and I'm very proud of you. I want you to know though, I won't hesitate to put you right back over my knee if you misbehave is that understood? Y-y-y-yes m-m-m-m-ma'am, I whined waiting for her to give me permission to get out of this humiliating position. Her hand trailed down the backs of my thighs, between my legs and back up again. I noticed my erection was gone but I couldn't tell you when I lost it?



   As her hand lightly ran up, down and between my legs I spread my knees apart to give her access. Her fingernails ran across my balls, up that tender portion of skin between the balls and the anus and across my anus. My erection sprang up very quickly as I began to moan. She traced her long fingernails over my tender bottom cheeks causing me to flinch but the sensation it left was oddly arousing. She whispered to me to get up and take my clothes off. I did as I was told. She turned me around and looked at my punished cheeks for a minute and giggled informing me of how red my cheeks were....very "cute" she said! She spun me around and sat me on the bench seat, crawling between my legs she spread my knees apart. It felt odd to be completely naked in the presence of a completely clothed lady but she had me in no state to resist. She took my cock by the shaft and held it up straight and blew lightly on the head. A chill ran threw my entire body. She took the head between her lips and gently sucked sending tingles into my toes. She lightly scratched at my balls as she sucked my entire cock into her mouth and out again. She nibbled her way up the underside of my shaft before taking the head back in her mouth and sucking hard on it then  the whole cock back in her mouth until my body began to shudder and spasm. She took it out of her mouth and I exploded into the night air shooting one gushing stream after the other. I could feel it land on my groin, stomach and chest and she slowly stroked the shaft and squeezed my balls. I collapsed on the seat completely void of any strength. She ran her hands lightly up my sides and down my hips as I laid there convulsing in orgasm. My ass was hot and stinging which strangely seemed to intensify the orgasm. As I lay there trying to regain my composure she wrote something on a matchbook cover, dropped it on my chest, stood up and told me to call her the next day and left.

   I was again very conflicted with what had happened the night before. I was so embarrassed and was not sure I could even look her in the eye again. How could this be I wondered....I was a top! How could a woman have reduced me to a babbling, screeching, pleading, begging, yelping mess of a boy with a sore red ass and have me even considering calling her again? I wouldn't I told myself over and over again! There was noway I was going to allow a girl to turn me over her knee and spank my bare ass like I was some kind of little boy....never! I held true to my word. I didn't call her that day, in fact, I waited till that evening before I reached up on my dresser and slowly unfolded the matchbook cover, picked the phone up and dialed her number!

Mission Statement

Hi Folks! It has been a while since I lasted imparted the babblings of a man who has known the reality of the FLR-DD world. I would say "wisdom" but it would be presumptuous of me to think that I have gained any such thing while still very much on the road of education in that regard. That being the case, I plan to continue that journey through the blog pages of the internet as I scribble my experiences. thoughts, fears, beliefs and questions hopefully, in this spot! We'll see if my run is as successful as the first? I somehow managed to slide under the radar for sometime before being censored for some unexplained reason. I am not sure how often I will be able to post as my schedule has filled up quite a bit since I last attempted blogging but I hope to be able to offer material with some frequency? I planned on restarting this blog over at wordpress however, the interface is confusing and does not allow the freedom to edit and manipulate media the way blogger does. Therefore, I have altered the layout and scope of this page (formerly my "paddle making" blog) to better mirror that of the Ma'am Yes Ma'am of old. I will begin posting here with a few blogs detailing my humble beginnings as a male submissive in a Female Led Relationship in order to give a little background to those that might be new or that started on the old blog a little late. I hope I don't bore some of you old-timers (wink) with repetitiveness? If you would all be so kind as to spread the word and the new link I would be appreciative as always!