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Monday, December 11, 2017

A New Beginning

    It's been quite a while since I have written a blog post. That's not to suggest that nothing has been happening on the FLR front for me.....quite the opposite actually. I was overwhelmed by how many of you followed my last blog which had a very long and successful run here at blogger before it was suddenly deleted without warning, explanation or reason? That kind of put a damper on things for me, a lot of long hours and hard work went into that blog to have it deleted for no apparent reason by Google? It had become quite popular and I enjoyed sharing my journey with you all. At the time of it's demise I was growing more comfortable with the role of a male submissive and embracing the idea of pursuing a relationship with a dominant, authoritative and disciplinary woman.

   Through the blog I had made many contacts, several of which were women that were currently an authority figure and disciplinary figure in their own marriages and relationships. Those associations along with the many private conversations we had were invaluable to me during that evolution. As some of you may recall, I was uncertain and apprehensive about pursuing the role of a disciplined husband/partner. In fact, I was thoroughly confused about my desire to even consider it. I absolutely detest being taken across a lady's knee and soundly spanked yet I was earnestly drawn to a relationship that included that possibility. It was mind-boggling to me but I couldn't deny that I needed it and wanted it very much.

    The ladies I had the honor of talking to about it were extremely helpful in solving the mystery and trepidation I felt about taking the plunge and following those strong feelings and desires. I am eternally grateful to each and every one of you that took the time to reach out to me and discuss this thing so openly. It has led me to where I am today which I will share with you all in this post. It was obvious as that former blog progressed that I was becoming more and more comfortable with the role of a submissive male and embracing the idea of pursuing it. Some of the ladies that reached out to me then were single and equally interested in such a relationship and I was very fortunate to meet a few of them. That was a valuable experience as well as it became apparent quickly that there is much more to an FLR relationship than just a mutual desire to have one.

   Like any relationship there are many elements to consider in forging an intimate and healthy relationship. In many ways it makes framing a healthy FLR even harder than a vanilla relationship in that not only must both parties be compatible in the everyday facets of an intimate relationship (which is hard enough) they must also harmonious in the many complexities of a Female Led Relationship. There is a strong level of trust that must be met on both sides when it comes to accepting the large responsibility of leadership and correction not to mention the submission to that authority.

   As the former blog was fading into the sunset I was fortunate and thrilled to meet with several ladies that shared my interest in FLR's. Not surprisingly they were of high moral character each and every one. They all commanded respect which was obvious before we ever laid eyes on each other but there were differences of opinion on various aspects of a relationship whether it was related to the structure of an FLR, the administration of domestic discipline or everyday interests which help to forge that bond that is essential in a healthy relationship. In some cases it was simply location.

   I already had experience with living under the authority of a dominant woman as well as with the reception of physical consequences should I not meet such a ladies expectations so I wasn't entering into this prospect blindly. I was also aware that there are many different schools of thought on the topic of Female Led Relationships and how it should be executed. In most cases those schools of thought can be quite indomitable and unflexible. The same can be said about the administration of discipline. I was quite certain that I did not want to be made to feel inferior or inhuman for lack of a better term. I had no desire to be a slave or to be degraded in any way and I feel strongly that there is a huge difference between humility and degradation. I feel no ill-will toward other axioms but I know what feels right for me.

   I knew that I was not looking to fulfill a sexual fantasy, I wanted my lady to be of strong character. Strict and stern when necessary but not naggy or bitchy. I wanted her to be fair but serious in her role as a disciplinarian. I wanted her to set expectations for me high and consequences severe and I wanted her to be capable of enforcing her rules without hesitation or reluctance. I was positive that I wanted our relationship to be normal in almost every regard with the exception of rules and discipline and there I wanted it to be decidedly domestic in nature. No leather, no chains, no whips and no cages. I wanted a female authoritarian not a mistress or dominatrix....that isn't my thing.

   Obviously there is a level of sexuality to it all, it wouldn't be an intimate relationship if there wasn't but when it came to the day to day implementation of our FLR I wanted it divorced from sex. If I broke a rule I wanted her to take that seriously and administer a punishment in a no-nonsense fashion. As I've stated, I detest being spanked but if I've done something to earn one then I want it to be administered seriously....it should be painful and once it has been delivered I want it to be such that I don't wish to experience it again. In other words, I am not looking for a foreplay spanking. I want to experience real correction to unacceptable behavior and a punishment spanking should inspire me to improve myself for her and others around me. The punishment should fit the crime!

   My desire is not to be spanked but to be held accountable and in that sense I want to trust her to decide what, where and how I am punished whether I like it or not. I want her to be the final decision maker but I want her to consider my opinions and well-being in her decisions. I want her to hold me to a standard that is good for me personally, her and I collectively and those around us. I lack self-discipline, this I know. It isn't rational to think that any woman can perform this role or that any woman would want to and that is why finding a partner with which we can have a healthy and successful relationship with is not so easy.

   Entering into a relationship like this requires both of us to make a serious and strong commitment. It is a commitment to each other as well as to our individual roles. For my part I must commit to surrendering any control I have to her. I must commit to respecting her as a woman and as an authority figure. I must commit to accepting her rules and her punishments without resistance. Obviously her commitment must be to accept control and authority over me. A commitment to respect me as a man and her partner. A commitment to the responsibility of a disciplinarian and a commitment to the construction of fair rules and fair punishments.

   Granted, in this instance it is important that we agree on the dynamics of the Female authority and punishment aspects of the relationship but I believe it is also important to share interests and life goals otherwise (like any vanilla relationship) we are bound to fail. With that the case it is no accident that one of the first activities I engaged in with the ladies I met (after a meal of course) was an over the knee, bare bottom spanking. I understand that these ladies reason for that were that they wanted to see how serious I was and if I could actually submit to a sound spanking. Each one of them certainly administered a sound spanking to be sure. I knew once I was given permission to get up off her lap that I had been spanked. That was an important matter for me as well. I wanted to be sure that should she need to correct my behavior that she'd be willing and able to give me an actual punishment spanking that would get my attention. I can tell you that none of them let me down in that regard.

   Unfortunately while these women were capable disciplinarians, they were not good matches for me. One lady believed in the use of diaper punishment, while I understand the thought process behind it for her as well as those that wish to receive such punishment, I am not comfortable with it at all. A few others it was a matter of location and not being able to relocate to my area or me to theirs. An other lady just wasn't a good match in other areas that had nothing to do with authority or correction. I have the utmost respect for each of them and as I have found over the years, an sound over the knee spanking produces a special bound between the parties like nothing else. If I were just looking for a disciplinarian any one of those ladies would've been excellent choices but there is more to it for me.

   That brings me to my current situation. I have met a lady that checks all the boxes and we have been cultivating an FLR for the past few years. At first, distance was an issue but I travel the country for work and I found myself in her area frequently. Also, I was able to bring her to my area on several occasions and we took several extended vacations together. More recently, she has moved to my area and we now live together. Our situation isn't yet ideal but it soon will be and we will be living a true FLR 24/7. We both see the benefit of sharing our experiences with others who currently live this lifestyle or those that wish to so our plan is to use this blog to document our journey with it's successes, difficulties, challenges and solutions. My next post will share how we met and how we progressed to our current arrangement. It is both our hopes that you will join us here and find our story helpful and educational.













1 comment:

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