At the height of my former blog's popularity I was in a bit of a professional quandary. In fact, when I began writing it I had just been laid off (2009) and was in a financial and emotional tailspin. Four years before I got divorced and a year before I lost my son. I was a train wreck. Perhaps my emotional state and financial fears intensified the strong desire to be under the care and guidance of a strong woman? This underlying need in me to submit to such a woman's management may have very well offered some sort of subconscious security? Whatever the cause or reason I seemed obsessed with figuring it out. In truth, I craved it while still married but it wasn't in her DNA and our marriage became unfulfilling. I knew that my need to be held accountable was at least in part responsible for the growing unhappiness....I was trying to be someone I wasn't.
Suddenly having a lot of time on my hands allowed my mind to haunt me. It was a long time since I was unemployed and the job market at the time was horrific. I could allow the prospect of crashing and burning drive me crazy or I could turn my thoughts to something less dreadful. I've found that the latter is usually the best course of action whenever there are problems out of my control. This situation proved to be no different, I focused on something I did have some control over and my professional and financial situation corrected itself pretty much. I had carried this strong need to serve an authoritative woman for most of my adult life but I never allowed myself to admit it or give it any thought so this was a perfect opportunity to confront it once and for all.
The blog was an invaluable tool in doing just that. I was never comfortable viewing myself as a man who would surrender control to a woman. I grew up in a time when society shunned such ideas. I had a fascination with spanking from an early age but I always fantasized that I was the spanker and I never thought of it in relationship terms. I approached the blog like one would a diary I suppose? I was naive in thinking that nobody would ever see it. Blogs were just hitting the scene at the time and I thought that rather than write my thoughts and feelings down and store them on my hardrive where someone might find them, I could write it in cyber-space under an assumed name that couldn't be tied back to me......I was scared to death that someone would find out I wanted to be taken across a woman's knee to have my bare bottom spanked long and hard!
As a young adult I met a dominant lady and that was my first taste of submission. That relationship (I believe) formed my ideas concerning Female Led Relationships and Domestic Discipline. She was an older woman with a strong personality. She knew what she wanted and confidently went after it. Almost from the beginning I felt subservient to her although it was not a prearranged dynamic, it's just the way she was. I was young and immature but we were obviously very attracted to each other and rather than kick me to the curb over my often childish and irresponsible behavior, she chose to try and correct it. A few months into that relationship I found myself draped over her knee as she sat in a straight-backed chair, my white cotton briefs around my ankles as she administered my very first adult spanking on my bare bottom. She was definitely a no-nonsense woman and the spanking was traumatic in that she her wooden hairbrush smacked my defenseless bare bottom cheeks in sharp, rapid swats that stung like nothing I ever felt before. It was a very traditional and maternal type of spanking and I soon learned that almost every spanking she administered would be just like that.
I hated those spankings when I was getting them and the prospect of someone hearing them or my friends finding out was terrifying. In my younger days if I didn't like something I would banish it from my mind as if it never happened and that's how I dealt with those punishment spankings but unbeknownst to me at the time, I needed them. In fact, they may have been the only thing that kept me from self-destructing back then as I was a wild child. She was able to reel me in and keep me in check somewhat with her guidance and correction. The embarrassment I experienced from those discipline spankings was strong. I was instinctively afraid to disobey her commands when I was in trouble. When I was to be punished her demeanor became very stern and she would direct me to strip to my underpants while she placed a chair in the vicinity of where I was disrobing and retrieved her nasty wooden hairbrush. I was always required to stand to her right side as she sat in the chair with my hands folded behind my head. I would be scolded and lectured like a child, my face would be a deep shade of red with shame, my knees would tremble and I wanted in the worst way to disappear.
Once she verbally chastised me she would place the wooden hairbrush on her lap and yank my underpants down to my ankles, flip me across her lap and begin the rapid fire swats of a very sound hairbrush spanking, There was no breaks in her cadence as the room filled with echoing cracks of wood on flesh and my yelps, screams and cries. My legs would kick like an Olympic swimmer and my bare bottom would wiggle on her lap but the hard smacks of the wooden hairbrush would fall over and over and over until she had blistered my wobbling cheeks. I would pray for it to end almost as soon as it started and I tried my hardest day in and day out to avoid a trip over her knee. The humiliation of being draped over her knee with my underpants bunched around my ankles and being soundly spanked like a naughty little boy was reprehensible but I couldn't seem to bring myself to leave the arrangement. Once the spanking was over I was told to stand and leaving my underpants around my ankles I was to shuffle to the corner and stand facing the wall with my hands folded back behind my head for as long as she deemed necessary.
I adored that woman but I was almost relieved when she moved out west to be closer to her family. My need for that discipline was entrenched in me even though I buried those desires deep down inside until I lost sight of them. They were still driving and controlling me but I was oblivious. Blogging brought it back to the surface and helped me confront and understand the need for it as well as accept it as part of who I am. The blog was shut down about the time my professional life was getting back on track. I had met Miss Sadie through the blog and in a strange turn of events she was able to come east and spend a week with me. I felt as though I knew her my whole life before she even got here as we spent many of nights chatting till the sun came up. I picked her up at the airport and we talked the whole ride home like we were the best of friends. As we approached my house her demeanor changed in a frightening way, she brought up some things I had said to her in jest as well as a few behaviors I admitted to when I didn't think there was ever a chance of us meeting. I had forgotten about them but she hadn't!
As we pulled into the driveway I was "instructed" to get her bags out of the trunk, bring them into the house then go directly to the bedroom, strip to my underpants and wait in the corner for her. I knew her bags were to go to the master bedroom and I was to go to the extra bedroom for my punishment, we had talked about that being the "ritual" if we were to ever turn our discussions into reality. For the first time in a very long time I found myself facing a corner in nothing but my underpants waiting to be spanked. The skittish feelings of anticipation I remembered from all those years ago came rushing back in the blink of an eye. My knees trembled as I stood there listening carefully for any sign of her approach. My heart beat fast and my bottom cheeks tingled in anticipation of the sting of a spanking. My head whirled with the knowledge that I was about to get a punishment spanking. Although I still wore my white cotton underpants I felt more naked than if I didn't have them on at all. I felt juvenile in nothing but the tight white cotton briefs that I was certain were going to be pulled down.
She entered the room and the hair on the back of my neck stood and chills ran up and down my spine. I didn't dare turn around knowing already that that was not allowed. I heard her preparing and the anticipation was killing me. Soon I felt a tug on my ear lobe, she had it pinched between her thumb and forefinger and she tugged me by it to the chair she had placed at the foot of the bed. I suddenly felt very naughty and deserving of punishment. My heart began to pound harder as I spotted the large, round wooden brush on the seat of the chair. She stood me to the right side of the chair, scooped up the brush and sat down. She held the brush in her hand twirling it casually as she looked at me in silence. My knees were really trembling now. I was praying that I could maintain my composure once the spanking began. I was embarrassed enough as it was I didn't want to add the shame of balling like a baby from the spanking. It was almost surreal at that moment. It was apparent I was about to get a spanking for real offenses but at the same time I thought it wouldn't happen for some reason? It couldn't be happening I thought.
After a very awkward period of silence she began to lecture me about my behavior. She questioned me as well which I despise, I hate admitting I was "bad" and deserve to be punished....I always hated that the most. She then scolded me for a few minutes making sure I understood how disappointed she was in my behavior and how determined she was to administer a proper spanking for it. She took me by the wrist and pulled me toward her until I fell forward across her capable strong lap. I hadn't felt so vulnerable in a very long time as I felt her rest her firm hand on my cotton covered bottom cheek. The heat of her hand was intense and my bottom cheeks began to quiver. In a very stern voice she let me know how "naughty" I was and that naughty boys get put across her knee and spanked long and hard until they can't sit down comfortably for a week. She warned me to stay in position until I was given permission to get up and to keep my hands and feet out of the way or she would spank me longer and harder. I had earned a good sound spanking and I was now about to get one. I was also instructed to address her as "Ma'am" when I was being punished and not to forget it. I replied appropriately and waited nervously.
The spanking began on the seat of my underpants with her firm hand although I was certain it was the brush her hand was that hard. The spanks were steady but measured alternating from cheek to cheek. I was in a state of shock from the first spank and it wasn't until the forth spank landed that I realized how bad my bottom was stinging. She spaced the swats about a second apart but they were hard and the crack of her hand on my bottom was loud. It was all coming back to me in a rush of apprehensive trepidation. This was only the third serious disciplinarian whose knee I had been across but I couldn't help but notice how similar yet different their spanking styles were. Miss Sadie began at a slower pace but the spanks were hard and the rhythm slowly increased as she spanked. Soon the spanks were falling fast and hard and I couldn't help but clinch my cheeks in a futile effort to lessen the pain. She paused a couple times just long enough to tell me to unclinch them before returning to hard, fast hand spanks that had my poor upturned bottom on fire in a short period of time.
The familiar sound of smacks and cries echoing off the walls of the bedroom suddenly became apparent to me as I began to kick my legs and beg her to stop spanking me. My less than masculine pleas fell on deaf ears as I felt the force of the spanks increase before they suddenly stopped. I felt a blast of cool air wash over my burning cheeks as my underpants were yanked down roughly just below my reddening bottom. I began to plead with her not to pull them down but they my bottom was already bare and the hard spanks were falling again. The echoing sounds changed dramatically as the muffling effects of my underpants were no longer a factor. Bare flesh slapping bare flesh filled the room as panic set in.What was I thinking when I sought this out and pursued it so feverishly. She was very strong and I couldn't have gotten away from her if I wanted to. She spanked my bare bottom with her hand for a couple minutes before she stopped and picked up the brush. She placed the hard cold surface against my hot cheeks and lightly tapped them as she warned me to stay over her knee.
This is going to hurt bad she said but I deserve every single spank....didn't I? she asked. I betrayed myself as I replied with a "yes ma'am" and the most painful spanking I had felt in a long time began. I squirmed over her knee but the hairbrush spanks stung my bouncing cheeks again and again. I could help myself and I clinched my cheeks together as tight as I could. She was in a steady pace and never stopped to admonish me for it, she just continued to deliver hard and fast spanks to my helpless bare bottom as I began to sob and beg her to stop. I apologized profusely and promised to be good from now on but I was going to get every single spank she felt I deserved and that was a few more dozen.
I'm not sure when the spanking ended but when I regained some composure I realized I was draped over her knee sobbing as she rest her forearms across the small of my back and waited for me to calm down a bit. I lay over her knee with my bare red cheeks pointing up high until I was sniveling. In a very calm and confident voice she began to lecture me again. This is what happens to naughty little boys that don't know how to behave. If I knew what was good for me and if I wished to avoid a similar bare bottom spanking in the future than I had better learn to behave myself in a hurry.....is that understood? I was asked. I managed to get an audible "yes ma'am" out. I felt her inspecting my well spanked bare bottom and prayed she would be satisfied. I was mortified at the mental image of being draped over her knee in nothing but a pair of lowered underpants with a deep red set of bare bottom cheeks on display. I was ashamed at having lost composure and being brought to tears like a bad little boy.
I was instructed to get off her lap and to leave my underpants down and go to the corner with my hands at my side and think about my behavior and the consequences until she told me I could pull my pants up and get dressed and she had better not catch me rubbing my sore, stinging cheeks or I would find myself right back over her knee. I replied quickly with a submissive "yes ma'am" as I hurried to the corner afraid I might upset her if I didn't. All I could seem to think about once I was in the corner was how ridiculous and juvenile I must have looked getting spanked over her knee with my underpants down even though I was told to reflect on my behavior as well. My bottom was stinging something terrible and I could feel the heat emanating from my glowing globes as I did my best to stand still and fight the overwhelming urge to reach back and rub the intense sting from my well spanked cheeks.
I knew she was sitting behind me watching which made my humiliating embarrassment all that much worse. I stood there for at least 20 minutes before she once again began to lecture me. She remarked how red my bottom was and how painful it looked. She asked if it was worth it and if I now understood what happens if I misbehave. I answered appropriately. She remarked that it can't feel very good for a grown man to be put across a ladies knee and have his bare bottom spanked with a hairbrush until it was a deep shade of red could it? I replied with a "no ma'am". She said that my behavior warranted an over the knee bare bottom spanking and that that is exactly what I will get every time I act that way. She then gave me permission to pull my underpants up and to get dressed.
I was so ashamed that I couldn't look her in the eye for an hour or two afterwards but I had a very strong appreciation of her that continued to build with every passing moment. Later that day I realized that I felt a strong affection toward her and I knew that while I absolutely hated that spanking I was certain that I wanted a woman who would not hesitate to administer one to me in my daily life. As the hours passed I felt more and more at ease and comfortable being with her. At dinner she asked me about a few other things I had admitted to her that I had forgotten about. She asked in such a calm and pleasant voice that I attempted to laugh them off. I saw her expression change in reaction to my attitude and I lowered my gaze. She commented that I won't think it's very funny later that night when we discuss the matter!
As you can see in the clip below, Miss Sadie is a no-nonsense spanker and if you ever find yourself unlucky enough to be bare-bottomed across her knee you will certainly be sorry in a very short period of time. This clip is from one of the spankings I received from her during the week mentioned above.
The blog was an invaluable tool in doing just that. I was never comfortable viewing myself as a man who would surrender control to a woman. I grew up in a time when society shunned such ideas. I had a fascination with spanking from an early age but I always fantasized that I was the spanker and I never thought of it in relationship terms. I approached the blog like one would a diary I suppose? I was naive in thinking that nobody would ever see it. Blogs were just hitting the scene at the time and I thought that rather than write my thoughts and feelings down and store them on my hardrive where someone might find them, I could write it in cyber-space under an assumed name that couldn't be tied back to me......I was scared to death that someone would find out I wanted to be taken across a woman's knee to have my bare bottom spanked long and hard!
As a young adult I met a dominant lady and that was my first taste of submission. That relationship (I believe) formed my ideas concerning Female Led Relationships and Domestic Discipline. She was an older woman with a strong personality. She knew what she wanted and confidently went after it. Almost from the beginning I felt subservient to her although it was not a prearranged dynamic, it's just the way she was. I was young and immature but we were obviously very attracted to each other and rather than kick me to the curb over my often childish and irresponsible behavior, she chose to try and correct it. A few months into that relationship I found myself draped over her knee as she sat in a straight-backed chair, my white cotton briefs around my ankles as she administered my very first adult spanking on my bare bottom. She was definitely a no-nonsense woman and the spanking was traumatic in that she her wooden hairbrush smacked my defenseless bare bottom cheeks in sharp, rapid swats that stung like nothing I ever felt before. It was a very traditional and maternal type of spanking and I soon learned that almost every spanking she administered would be just like that.
I hated those spankings when I was getting them and the prospect of someone hearing them or my friends finding out was terrifying. In my younger days if I didn't like something I would banish it from my mind as if it never happened and that's how I dealt with those punishment spankings but unbeknownst to me at the time, I needed them. In fact, they may have been the only thing that kept me from self-destructing back then as I was a wild child. She was able to reel me in and keep me in check somewhat with her guidance and correction. The embarrassment I experienced from those discipline spankings was strong. I was instinctively afraid to disobey her commands when I was in trouble. When I was to be punished her demeanor became very stern and she would direct me to strip to my underpants while she placed a chair in the vicinity of where I was disrobing and retrieved her nasty wooden hairbrush. I was always required to stand to her right side as she sat in the chair with my hands folded behind my head. I would be scolded and lectured like a child, my face would be a deep shade of red with shame, my knees would tremble and I wanted in the worst way to disappear.
Once she verbally chastised me she would place the wooden hairbrush on her lap and yank my underpants down to my ankles, flip me across her lap and begin the rapid fire swats of a very sound hairbrush spanking, There was no breaks in her cadence as the room filled with echoing cracks of wood on flesh and my yelps, screams and cries. My legs would kick like an Olympic swimmer and my bare bottom would wiggle on her lap but the hard smacks of the wooden hairbrush would fall over and over and over until she had blistered my wobbling cheeks. I would pray for it to end almost as soon as it started and I tried my hardest day in and day out to avoid a trip over her knee. The humiliation of being draped over her knee with my underpants bunched around my ankles and being soundly spanked like a naughty little boy was reprehensible but I couldn't seem to bring myself to leave the arrangement. Once the spanking was over I was told to stand and leaving my underpants around my ankles I was to shuffle to the corner and stand facing the wall with my hands folded back behind my head for as long as she deemed necessary.
I adored that woman but I was almost relieved when she moved out west to be closer to her family. My need for that discipline was entrenched in me even though I buried those desires deep down inside until I lost sight of them. They were still driving and controlling me but I was oblivious. Blogging brought it back to the surface and helped me confront and understand the need for it as well as accept it as part of who I am. The blog was shut down about the time my professional life was getting back on track. I had met Miss Sadie through the blog and in a strange turn of events she was able to come east and spend a week with me. I felt as though I knew her my whole life before she even got here as we spent many of nights chatting till the sun came up. I picked her up at the airport and we talked the whole ride home like we were the best of friends. As we approached my house her demeanor changed in a frightening way, she brought up some things I had said to her in jest as well as a few behaviors I admitted to when I didn't think there was ever a chance of us meeting. I had forgotten about them but she hadn't!
She entered the room and the hair on the back of my neck stood and chills ran up and down my spine. I didn't dare turn around knowing already that that was not allowed. I heard her preparing and the anticipation was killing me. Soon I felt a tug on my ear lobe, she had it pinched between her thumb and forefinger and she tugged me by it to the chair she had placed at the foot of the bed. I suddenly felt very naughty and deserving of punishment. My heart began to pound harder as I spotted the large, round wooden brush on the seat of the chair. She stood me to the right side of the chair, scooped up the brush and sat down. She held the brush in her hand twirling it casually as she looked at me in silence. My knees were really trembling now. I was praying that I could maintain my composure once the spanking began. I was embarrassed enough as it was I didn't want to add the shame of balling like a baby from the spanking. It was almost surreal at that moment. It was apparent I was about to get a spanking for real offenses but at the same time I thought it wouldn't happen for some reason? It couldn't be happening I thought.
After a very awkward period of silence she began to lecture me about my behavior. She questioned me as well which I despise, I hate admitting I was "bad" and deserve to be punished....I always hated that the most. She then scolded me for a few minutes making sure I understood how disappointed she was in my behavior and how determined she was to administer a proper spanking for it. She took me by the wrist and pulled me toward her until I fell forward across her capable strong lap. I hadn't felt so vulnerable in a very long time as I felt her rest her firm hand on my cotton covered bottom cheek. The heat of her hand was intense and my bottom cheeks began to quiver. In a very stern voice she let me know how "naughty" I was and that naughty boys get put across her knee and spanked long and hard until they can't sit down comfortably for a week. She warned me to stay in position until I was given permission to get up and to keep my hands and feet out of the way or she would spank me longer and harder. I had earned a good sound spanking and I was now about to get one. I was also instructed to address her as "Ma'am" when I was being punished and not to forget it. I replied appropriately and waited nervously.
The spanking began on the seat of my underpants with her firm hand although I was certain it was the brush her hand was that hard. The spanks were steady but measured alternating from cheek to cheek. I was in a state of shock from the first spank and it wasn't until the forth spank landed that I realized how bad my bottom was stinging. She spaced the swats about a second apart but they were hard and the crack of her hand on my bottom was loud. It was all coming back to me in a rush of apprehensive trepidation. This was only the third serious disciplinarian whose knee I had been across but I couldn't help but notice how similar yet different their spanking styles were. Miss Sadie began at a slower pace but the spanks were hard and the rhythm slowly increased as she spanked. Soon the spanks were falling fast and hard and I couldn't help but clinch my cheeks in a futile effort to lessen the pain. She paused a couple times just long enough to tell me to unclinch them before returning to hard, fast hand spanks that had my poor upturned bottom on fire in a short period of time.
The familiar sound of smacks and cries echoing off the walls of the bedroom suddenly became apparent to me as I began to kick my legs and beg her to stop spanking me. My less than masculine pleas fell on deaf ears as I felt the force of the spanks increase before they suddenly stopped. I felt a blast of cool air wash over my burning cheeks as my underpants were yanked down roughly just below my reddening bottom. I began to plead with her not to pull them down but they my bottom was already bare and the hard spanks were falling again. The echoing sounds changed dramatically as the muffling effects of my underpants were no longer a factor. Bare flesh slapping bare flesh filled the room as panic set in.What was I thinking when I sought this out and pursued it so feverishly. She was very strong and I couldn't have gotten away from her if I wanted to. She spanked my bare bottom with her hand for a couple minutes before she stopped and picked up the brush. She placed the hard cold surface against my hot cheeks and lightly tapped them as she warned me to stay over her knee.
I'm not sure when the spanking ended but when I regained some composure I realized I was draped over her knee sobbing as she rest her forearms across the small of my back and waited for me to calm down a bit. I lay over her knee with my bare red cheeks pointing up high until I was sniveling. In a very calm and confident voice she began to lecture me again. This is what happens to naughty little boys that don't know how to behave. If I knew what was good for me and if I wished to avoid a similar bare bottom spanking in the future than I had better learn to behave myself in a hurry.....is that understood? I was asked. I managed to get an audible "yes ma'am" out. I felt her inspecting my well spanked bare bottom and prayed she would be satisfied. I was mortified at the mental image of being draped over her knee in nothing but a pair of lowered underpants with a deep red set of bare bottom cheeks on display. I was ashamed at having lost composure and being brought to tears like a bad little boy.
I was instructed to get off her lap and to leave my underpants down and go to the corner with my hands at my side and think about my behavior and the consequences until she told me I could pull my pants up and get dressed and she had better not catch me rubbing my sore, stinging cheeks or I would find myself right back over her knee. I replied quickly with a submissive "yes ma'am" as I hurried to the corner afraid I might upset her if I didn't. All I could seem to think about once I was in the corner was how ridiculous and juvenile I must have looked getting spanked over her knee with my underpants down even though I was told to reflect on my behavior as well. My bottom was stinging something terrible and I could feel the heat emanating from my glowing globes as I did my best to stand still and fight the overwhelming urge to reach back and rub the intense sting from my well spanked cheeks.
I knew she was sitting behind me watching which made my humiliating embarrassment all that much worse. I stood there for at least 20 minutes before she once again began to lecture me. She remarked how red my bottom was and how painful it looked. She asked if it was worth it and if I now understood what happens if I misbehave. I answered appropriately. She remarked that it can't feel very good for a grown man to be put across a ladies knee and have his bare bottom spanked with a hairbrush until it was a deep shade of red could it? I replied with a "no ma'am". She said that my behavior warranted an over the knee bare bottom spanking and that that is exactly what I will get every time I act that way. She then gave me permission to pull my underpants up and to get dressed.
I was so ashamed that I couldn't look her in the eye for an hour or two afterwards but I had a very strong appreciation of her that continued to build with every passing moment. Later that day I realized that I felt a strong affection toward her and I knew that while I absolutely hated that spanking I was certain that I wanted a woman who would not hesitate to administer one to me in my daily life. As the hours passed I felt more and more at ease and comfortable being with her. At dinner she asked me about a few other things I had admitted to her that I had forgotten about. She asked in such a calm and pleasant voice that I attempted to laugh them off. I saw her expression change in reaction to my attitude and I lowered my gaze. She commented that I won't think it's very funny later that night when we discuss the matter!
As you can see in the clip below, Miss Sadie is a no-nonsense spanker and if you ever find yourself unlucky enough to be bare-bottomed across her knee you will certainly be sorry in a very short period of time. This clip is from one of the spankings I received from her during the week mentioned above.
So glad to see you. Never for a minute dropped your feed.
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